For the launch of Dignify in 2020 I was commissioned to write a spoken word piece. This was a part of their journey to engage artists into the Dignify conversations about healthy relationships.
I also revisited my filming and edited skills and created a short spoken word video!
From afar I felt you On the back of my neck your whispered words brunt bruises into my skin And into the night I saw you Through shadows and joy induced fears I was reminded of all those years where Deep within something stirred and shattered Am emotion lit by a lighter thumb flick I was in front of you Smiling through clinched teeth and tears Looking different from my insta pic Wondering if you liked what you saw Do you like me This was real I could feel and still I stood in that moment waiting for you Waiting to be pulled internally Blistered hands moulding Starting a transformation I wanted and didn’t want At the same time Becoming something I did not want to be Was not borne to be Couldn’t be Silently screaming superficially “i will not be!” Sealed into a glass box and tossed like dice until I cracked Pieces of me suddenly unimportant Irrelevant App pressed finger swipe Sweating in screen lit places Faces bodies blurring Until you saw me You liked me You told me I was your queen And you’ll show me the world The things I will see Only imagined in Hollywood dreams Scenes where I danced in blissed Kissed by the gold you promised me Our attraction Stunned all sense out of me None of it made sense The way I craved your attention Your toxic flooded eyes showed me oceans And all I wanted to do was dive right in Blind folded to your unloved speech Caressed intimately by fingers glued to mouse clicks Eyes watered from starring too much too hard Every detail too bold and sold through cheap pleasures I dived right in until I drowned Into a relationship I could not find Its foundation crumpled into distances Fallen sand disappeared through my open fingers And despite every cell in my body crying out no I said yes Because you know I loved you from our first encounter
Copyright © 2020 Traysi Benjamin-Matthew
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