A spoken word piece for Dignify

For the launch of Dignify in 2020 I was commissioned to write a spoken word piece. This was a part of their journey to engage artists into the Dignify conversations about healthy relationships.

I also revisited my filming and edited skills and created a short spoken word video!

The encounter

From afar I felt you
On the back of my neck your whispered words brunt bruises into my skin 
And into the night I saw you 
Through shadows and joy induced fears 
I was reminded of all those years where 
Deep within something stirred and shattered  
Am emotion lit by a lighter thumb flick
I was in front of you
Smiling through clinched teeth and tears 
Looking different from my insta pic 
Wondering if you liked what you saw
Do you like me

This was real I could feel and still
I stood in that moment waiting for you  
Waiting to be pulled internally 
Blistered hands moulding  
Starting a transformation  
I wanted and didn’t want 
At the same time 
Becoming something I did not want to be 
Was not borne to be
Couldn’t be 
Silently screaming superficially “i will not be!”  
Sealed into a glass box and tossed like dice until I cracked  
Pieces of me suddenly unimportant  
App pressed finger swipe 
Sweating in screen lit places 
Faces bodies blurring
Until you saw me
You liked me 
You told me I was your queen
And you’ll show me the world
The things I will see
Only imagined in Hollywood dreams
Scenes where I danced in blissed
Kissed by the gold you promised me
Our attraction
Stunned all sense out of me
None of it made sense
The way I craved your attention
Your toxic flooded eyes showed me oceans 
And all I wanted to do was dive right in
Blind folded to your unloved speech
Caressed intimately by fingers glued to mouse clicks
Eyes watered from starring too much too hard
Every detail too bold and sold through cheap pleasures 
I dived right in until I drowned
Into a relationship I could not find 
Its foundation crumpled into distances 
Fallen sand disappeared through my open fingers
And despite every cell in my body crying out no
I said yes  

Because you know I loved you from our first encounter 

Copyright © 2020 Traysi Benjamin-Matthew
All rights reserved. No portion of this post may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form or any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or by otherwise without the express written permission from Traysi Benjamin-Matthew